Every year, E and I try to write a funny Christmas song. Well, this year we have not yet been able so we are recycling this ditty from two years ago.
We did it just for fun and to make our friends smile.
Lyric:
Verse
Christmas time, it comes but once a year
Department stores and turkey farmers cheer
Being Jewish, by persuasion
Immunized, to its contagion
As a chosen one I thought I 'nought to fear.
Then came something truly, unexpected
A beauty Darwin naturally selected
Through a haze of sprayed on snow
'Neath the plastic, mistletoe
Changed my humbug ways and now my heart's infected.
Chorus
Oh how, I love Christmas with my Shiksa
For she, is the Shiksa that I love
Without her, it ain't the same
On the birth of, what's 'is name
She's my candy cane, my sweet, my turtledove.
And if you were, perchance, to meet my Shiksa
You'd cry, "Hark the Herald," she's with him
But there are those that know the joys
Of well raised nice Jewish boys
Trump the candy canes and Christmas seraphim.
Verse
She finds my Hebrew customs hard to read.
Yes we are, a fabulously complicated breed
At reading backwards, right to left
Her skills might be a tad bereft
But her ???????????????????
Are fine indeed.
But when, I wonder, does my Shiksa love me
My mother says, "Oye vey, what's not to love?"
Without her it ain't the same
On the birth of, what's His name?
She's my latka, challah, my knish, my turtle dove...
Bridge
She says that she finds my good looks boyish
But I think she's just being "goyish"
For what can this gentle gentile, see in me?
It might be cultural infraction, an opposite attraction.
But there's room for both, between the Christmas tree
Chorus
Oh how, I love Christmas with my Shiksa
For she, is the Shiksa that I love
Without my Shiksa, it's just not the same
On the birth of, what's 'is name?
Coda
When religion is the cause
For being ignored by Santa Clause
If this musical detritus, gives you chronic tinsilitus!
If this song's left you mesmerized, just wait 'til it's been Klezmerized
And if you find this song satyric, know my Shiksa wrote the lyric
For she's my candy cane, my sweet, my one true love!